When Did Looking Our Best Become Scary?

Why is it perfectly acceptable to wear a colour that makes us look tired, pale or washed out, but somehow intimidating to wear one that makes us look absolutely amazing?

This is something I genuinely struggle to understand.

Every day, we see people dressed in black, grey and other neutral shades. And don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with these colours if they suit you and you love wearing them.

But what fascinates me is how easily we accept wearing colours that don’t necessarily do us any favours, simply because they are considered safe, sophisticated or appropriate.

We don’t seem particularly bothered if black makes us look tired or if a certain shade of grey drains all the life from our face. We wear it anyway. Because it’s normal. Because everyone else does.

Yet suggest wearing a beautiful, vibrant shade that actually makes someone’s eyes sparkle, their skin glow and their whole appearance come alive, and suddenly there’s hesitation.

Oh, that’s a bit bright for me.

I could never pull that off.

I don’t want to stand out too much.

But why not?

When did looking our best become something to be afraid of?

I sometimes wonder whether it’s really about colour at all.

Are we actually afraid of being seen?

Have we become so comfortable blending in that expressing even a little personality through our clothes feels like taking a risk?

There seems to be this unwritten rule that dressing like everyone else is somehow more acceptable than dressing in a way that truly reflects who we are.

And I find that quite sad.

Because personal style should be exactly that. Personal.

Not a uniform we put on because everyone around us is wearing the same thing.

Of course, not everyone wants to wear bright colours or make a bold statement. And that’s absolutely fine. But there is a big difference between choosing a quiet, understated style because it’s genuinely who you are and choosing it because you’re afraid of doing anything else.

And then winter arrives…

This is another thing I find fascinating.

As soon as autumn turns into winter, wardrobes seem to turn darker almost overnight.

Black coats, grey jumpers, dark trousers. Everywhere you look, the colours seem to disappear.

But why?

Who decided that colder weather means we should stop wearing colour?

In fact, I would argue that winter is precisely when we need our best colours the most!

When the days are shorter, the light is duller and we might already be feeling a little less energetic, why would we deliberately choose colours that make us look even more tired?

Imagine instead putting on a beautiful coat, scarf or jumper in a shade that really suits you. A colour that lights up your face, makes you look fresh and gives you that little extra lift.

And remember, your best colours aren’t necessarily bright or bold. They might be soft, muted, deep or light. It’s about finding the shades that work in harmony with your natural colouring.

Your colour season doesn’t change just because the season outside does.

What if you became the inspiration instead?

Wearing colour with confidence isn't about wanting attention or standing out for the sake of it. It's about discovering what suits you and and feeling comfortable expressing your personalityOne of the things I love most about working as a Personal Stylist and Colour Consultant is seeing what happens when someone discovers just how amazing they can look in the right colours.

Very often, the surprise is enormous.

People who have spent years believing they couldn’t wear certain colours suddenly see themselves in a completely different light.

And it’s not just about looking better. It’s about confidence.

Because once you know what suits you, you no longer have to guess. You can start making choices based on what works for you rather than what everyone else happens to be wearing.

And this is something I always try to encourage my clients to do.

Instead of constantly adapting to what everyone else is doing, why not become the person who inspires others?

The one who dares to wear that beautiful colour.

The one who doesn’t automatically reach for black because it’s the easiest option.

The one who expresses a little more personality and feels completely comfortable doing so.

You might be surprised how many people secretly wish they had the confidence to do exactly the same.

Stop hiding. Start shining.

I’m not suggesting we all need to dress in bright colours from head to toe. Or that every outfit needs to make a statement.

I’m simply questioning why we’ve made blending in so normal that standing out, even when it makes us look and feel our best, has become something to fear.

Clothes and colours are such wonderful tools for expressing who we are. And unlike so many other things in life, we get to play with them, experiment and make different choices every single day.

So perhaps next time you automatically reach for that black jumper or grey coat, ask yourself one simple question:

Am I choosing this because I genuinely love how I look and feel in it, or because it feels safer than wearing something else?

And if it’s the latter, perhaps it’s time to try something different.

Because life is far too short to spend it hiding in colours that do nothing for you.

Why hide when you can shine?

Maria Sundqvist

Personal Stylist & Colour Consultant

Fashion and Repeat